Saturday, April 10, 2010

2009 People's Sexiest Men Alive, Top 15: An Analysis

I neglected my duties while in school to recount a list of all the Sexiest Men Alive according to People Magazine from 2009... I never even got to read the actually magazine with the hundred or so in it! Almost snagged one before my wisdom teeth got taken out at the dentist's office, but my mom (aka, chaperone home) wouldn't be my accomplice :(

Nonetheless, better late than never, right?! Here are the listed Top 15 Sexy Men of 2009 according to And what post would be complete without what I think about them all?
(Start off by saying, my personal favorites on the list are numbers 1, 3, 5, 8, and 10).

1. Johhny Depp
Yes yes yes and thrice times yes.
This is a matter or words, as I always say about our dear 2009 winner of top prize. If you were to ask me if JD
was "hot" I would say... meh, not really. If you asked me if he was "sexy" on the other hand, YES! There is just something so endearing about him as a person that it makes him take on this incredibly sexy quality. Is it his somewhat mysterious and quirky persona?
All in all, Johnny is incredibly talented and has shown us that as he has progressed through the years. Somehow, however, he remains intensely modest, and always seems very shy in interviews and doesn't quite understand why everyone finds him so interesting, when really, he is, isn't he?!
Trust us JD, you deserve this second-time win.

2. Ryan Reynolds
Sure, why not.
Okay, so I get the physical appeal (have you SEEN his "penal-v" in Blade Trinity?!) and he has that quirky, cool-guy attitude and dresses very nicely from what I can tell...
All I fear for Mr. Reynolds is the possibility of becoming typecast in the future. He is always playing that cool, funny, hip guy and it begs to question whether or not he is suited for anything else. Also, he is just very, "bread and butter" now when it comes to the question of who is a super hot celebrity. This is PROBABLY just a personal thing, but I like a bit of unconventionality in attractiveness, you know? That's just my own thing though.

3. Jake Gyllenhaal
I concur!
Oh Jake... Jake, Jake, Jake... what can we say?
It's the adorable puppydog-esque look to his face and the
adorable way of talking that really do it for you. PLUS, beginning his acting at a younger age he was quite talented (ie, Donnie Darko), and has just escalated since then. Not sure about this Prince of Persia business--though you never know, it could be pretty sweet-- but everyone is allowed to make interesting
choices in their career at some point or another...

4. Bradley Cooper

Was unsure at one point, but okay, we'll keep you.
Now, I always thought he had somewhat creepy eyes, but then later I realized that they are just a lovely ice blue! Oooer. And I didn't understand why everyone thought he was so darn hot because he looked just like any other guy to me... but then he smiled and I understood. It's the SMILE!!! And then I saw him in his black suit ensemble in The Hangover and I DIED, it was so fitting on him.
Kudos to you Bradley Cooper... you made me change my mind. You ARE in fact attractive. And quite humorous as well!

5. Robert Downey Jr.
Oh boy where do I begin... Now I know that I am biased, seeing as how I am going to marry this man
(harhar) but seriously. Okay, so he's WAY older than I am. Is it wrong to still find him amazing? I
First of all, Robert has gone through the whole business of falling from grace and coming back, clean and
sober since 2002 (as it were, everyone in Hollywood loves a comeback, story of an underdog, right?). This time for him must have been emotional and difficult, especially under the scrutiny of public eyes.
Over the past 2 years, however, RDJ has proven himself as an INCREDIBLY talented actor, starting
off with his Oscar Nomination in Tropic Thunder, and moving on to other, immensely diverse roles including my favorites in Kiss Kiss Bang Bang (actually that came before Tropic Thunder), and Sherlock Holmes.
In addition to this incredible force as an acting talent, he is just so candid about everything that he has done in his life, like he accepts it and can move on, knowing that people have the ability to change their past wrongs, and can sometimes find humor in it later, like not everything in life is SUCH a big deal like people might make it.
There is also the matter of that scruffy brown hair, that fit times 100 stature, and those DEEP.CHESTNUT.BROWN.EYES. Oh wow, I just got lost THINKING about them... Pheeeew.
Finally, to quote my dear Robert at the Oscars this year, humorously talking about writer and actor relationships: "It's a collaboration between handsome, gifted people, and sickly little mole people."
Robert Downey Jr: I love you. Don't you ever leave us again.

6. David Beckham
Yeah, okay why not?
I understand the appeal, I mean he is a big'olde jock,
and a ridiculously famous one. The man is skinny-
ripped which I personally find VER attractive, and has a cute little voice that you wouldn't expect from him. Oh yeah, and he's British.
Being a good father and oh-so-stylish, I can definitely understand why he is on the list. Maybe not one of my personal first choices, but I wouldn't turn that down, you know?

7. Gilles Marini
No thanks, I'll pass.
Um, okay here's the thing: this magazine has a big of an older demographic, and let's face it, those women who read it probably love soap opera stars and maybe have a thing for sultry French romantics but as it stands now... I don't see the appeal in him. Sorry. (And can he please stop having 80% his photos of himself either lying sans-clothing in a bed or taking a shower? It kinda weirded me out...)

8. The Men of Glee (Specifically Cory Monteith, Matthew Morrison, Mark Salling)
Ahahahahaha... yes.
Talented? Check.
Okay, so I'm a Glee fan. Wanna sue me? No, of course you don't! ;)
What this cast has going for it is definitely the talent factor. And what each person lacks individually, the other gents make up for. Corey Monteith epitomizes adorable nature, Mark Salling the built body that many girls swoon over, and Matthew Morrison couls kick ANYONE's ass on the dancefloor, as well as in overall performance.
These guys are hilarious in their show, and I can't wait to see what more they can do in the years to come.

9. Nick Cannon
Um... no.
Oh my dear Nick Cannon. He tries oh so hard to make a name
for himself and be involved in more things, but always falls a little short. It seems like the media only cares about his unexpected marriage to Mariah Carey, and disregards his actual work to the back-burner. It's not like he's untalented or anything! He just maybe needs to invest a little more time in choosing the right career options in the business, before he just turns solely into the cheesy reality competition host.
The boy has potential, I just don't feel he's really reached it yet...

10. Adam Lambert
Oh my, I DO agree wholeheartedly!
So there is a gay man on the list? DUH, Gay men read this magazine too! Now that we have gotten past that totally irrelevant piece of information, let's look at what REALLY matters about this man:
Adam Lambert is fearless. That is one of the major things about him that is so appealing. He took a chance and was not afraid to be himself, though I'm sure producers of American Idol told him specific ways to dress, etc so that he could obtain more votes and appear to fall more into their "brand" as it were. Did he listen? No! He went straight ahead and didn't change himself for anyone, and you know what? It paid off!
There was also that whole deal with his performances being considered "too raunchy" but he said right back
that that was a total double-standard, as any female performer could totally get away with everything he did!
You know what, the guy knows HOW to put on a performance, and that should at least count for
something, right?
In addition, Adam has an incredible singing voice. He could TOTALLY play the part of Jesus in Jesus Christ Superstar, as his voice would be incredibly suiting for most of the songs in it.
Oh, and what other men do you know that can pull off eyeliner, rhinestones, spikes, and all that other
whatnot he decks himself in? I don't know of many. Kudos to you Adam. Keep on keeping on :D

11. John Cho
Um... not sure.
Talented? Yes. Funny? Yes. Sexy? Uh... maybe. I just never really thought of him in that way, you know? He's always been the cool actor guy, but never really the one everyone was attracted to. I can see why some might think he is sexy, however! I just cant think of him that way myself...

12. Chris Daughtry
Once again, I'll pass.
He's the All-American dream acheiver! A true family-man and inspiration to those in the states who loved him on American Idol and have an affinity for the slightly more rock-ish but still general-listening music flooding the radio stations... Too bad I'm not American and anything from conventional. So, seeing all that which appeals to a certain demographic I know why he made the list, but once again, I myself am not a huge fan.

13. Jerry O'Connell
*Sigh* NOPE! Not a chance.
Now I don't know a LOT of what he has done in the past, but whenever I see him, all I can think is the word "sleazy". I could be wrong as I don't know much about him, but there is just something about him that I can't get past to like. Sorry Jerry... I can't tell ya what it is, all I know is that I am still thinking sleazy.

14. John Legend
Hm... not so sure about this one.
The man DOES have a silky-smooth voice and a great music career, I'll give him that. I just am not a huge fan of his, so can't really say whether I would consider him worthy of the list or not. I'll have to look into this one a bit further I think...

15. Robert Pattinson
Conflicted!!!!!!!! One of the most controversial heartthrobs EVER!
I could write an entire blog post about this man. However, I'll hit the major points here...
Let's break this down, shall we?
He is on the list because he is the current worldwide heartthrob, yes? Okay, now that that is clear:
Robert is not actually that bad at acting. I mean, he was pretty good in HP, Remember Me, etc. His skill, however, is covered by BAD directorial work in the Twilight movies, making it seem like he is taking a
large dump whenever he speaks, as well as contort his face as though he is disgusted and depressed
at every second, NOT happy to be with the love of his life. Shame on you filmmakers, shame on you.
Let's analyze the "omg, he's SO HOT" part now. I'm going to admit, he was pretty cute in The Goblet of Fire, and definitely has an okay fashion sense and the ability to make himself up to look nice, he just
DELIBERATELY chooses not to. He leaves himself unkempt, yet people still find him incredibly attractive because it is the fad and they are brainwashed to believe so.
THE THING IS: I really believe Rob is smarter than we give him credit for. It almost seems like he recognizes the fact that people like him for ridiculous reasons, and wants to make them appear even MORE ridiculous by making himself disgusting on a daily basis. It's like he is mocking all the silly girls that love him and he obviously doesn't want, and is almost as though he is saying, "Look at how gross I am, yet people still think I'm incredibly attractive? THIS is how ridiculous your children are by believing so..."

He's MOCKING US! Haha, or is it more clever and a statement on Hollywood obsessions and infatuations, and in turn, magazine articles such as this one I am currently dissecting? Robert Pattinson, you are a cheeky bastard and I can't make my mind up about you. But if my beliefs are in fact somewhat true, that definitely adds a wily side to your character, which is always fun to get involved in...

And now I open the floor to all of you!
What do you think of these men? Do you disagree with any of my likes and dislikes?
Which are your favorites? Is there anything I missed in my analysis?
Remembering that this is all subjective, thank you for joining me once again, and I will try to make more posts more often now that school is out, but you never know when I'll get around to it :D