Sunday, August 28, 2011

[2000s Edition] Was my Old-School, Fictional Boyfriend Actually All that Great?

*** This is the last installment of this "series" of posts, and is something I did simply for fun, and biased to my own personal likings, so please take it all in with a grain of salt.

To go along with my assessment of the typical film and television "heartthrobs" from cliche teen-movies in the 1980s and 1990s, I decided to now do a final examination of a few males from the early 2000s. To go with the "nostalgic" theme I'm going for, the movie had to have come out at least 10 years ago, leaving only 2 years in the 2000s available for scrutiny on the boys that we used to love.

Of course, take a gander at the 1980s (including the introduction to what this whole thing was about) and the 1990s if you feel inclined to catch a glimpse of the other two decades.
Also, as I mentioned above, this whole thing is inconsequential and just for fun, plus totally biased to my own personal feelings and likings. It also only includes characters from films I have actually seen myself, as not to have to base my opinions on those of someone else.

Without further ado, however, I give you: A Character Assessment of our Old-School Fictional Boyfriends. Were they Really as Great as We Remember? [Early 2000s Edition]

Cliff Pantone (Jesse Bradford): Bring It On (2000)

Every time I watch this movie, I just really want to be friends with a guy like Cliff. He is so funny, and smart, and in a band? Okay sure, I would totally fall for a guy like this. I think a lot of it has to do with his quirky persona, but in all actuality, he wrote the girl a song to make her feel better about her cheer issues (that sounds silly, but you know what I mean) and was really supportive of his sister, trying to get her to branch out and join the team. Although I will admit that he could have been a bit more understanding when Torrance’s boyfriend at college came back, and she broke up with him soon after. Maybe that’s just me, though. I don’t know, I still really like Cliff’s character, but then again, her relationship with him isn’t really one of the most pivotal conflicts within the film to begin with.

Character Grade: 8.5/10

Rob Gordon (John Cusack): High Fidelity (2000)

Oh hello John Cusack, nice to see you on our list again. Now, maybe not as many people would consider Rob Gordon a “teenage” heartthrob, but really, he was created to be a character for you to love, so just bear with me on this one. All in all, I love the fact that he makes lists to get over things, because really, I do too. And he really tries to figure out his life and move on once Laura dumps him. At the same time, however, trying to justify his cheating and actions while she was pregnant is a little, well, douchey. Musical snobbery is never good either, especially when it comes to your friends. Didn’t he almost not let one of his close co-workers play at an event? Don’t you trust your friends, Rob? I don’t know, this one was kind of mixed, and I think I would have to watch it again to really decide on Rob.

Character Grade: 4/10

Ryan Woodman (Shane West): Whatever It Takes (2000)

Like High Fidelity, I don’t really remember this movie a lot, just the major stuff. And as much as I love Shane West and wish his character in A Walk to Remember could have made the timeframe cut to be on here, sadly we have to go with a slightly less-likable character for him. Now, Ryan Woodman is definitely loveable, I mean he plays the accordion for goodness sake! And he also ends up with his oldest friend (as it should be) but boy does it take a long windy path to get there. And why was he so obsessed with the popular girl who was just awful when there were so many other perfectly good girls? Why wouldn’t he protect his best lady friend from the greasy James Franco if he knew what a skeeze he was? Why would he go to prom with a girl that he didn’t really like (even if she was acting like a crazy person until he was)? Was having that cool status really that important to him? Oh but in the end he was good to his best friend and they really did belong together, I just think he made a mess of things up to that point, and shouldn’t have been so oblivious to her feelings and all that. Though I know, sometimes that happens, especially with someone you know so well.

Character Grade: 5/10

Berke Landers (Ben Foster): Get Over It (2001)

It seems like until I made my friends watch this with me, pretty much nobody I knew had seen this movie. To my sister, however, it was a classic, and Martin Short is just hilarious in it! Anyways, I think I may be biased because I really like Ben Foster, but besides that, Berke wasn’t so bad. Arguably, he really could have gotten over Allison in a much less painful way, and could have been a little more mature about it, rather than trying to weasel his way back into her life when she had another boyfriend. He did, however, indirectly show her what a tool her new boyfriend was, and did realize how good his best friend’s little sister was. Now I’m torn on the whole, “But you’re Felix’s little sister” issue, I mean I can see why he wouldn’t want to hurt his best friend, but also why wouldn’t he be willing to give it a shot and talk to his friend about it? I don’t know, he still seemed like an okay guy. A little odd, but pretty good.

Character Grade: 6.5/10

Derek Reynolds (Sean Patrick Thomas): Save the Last Dance (2001)

Now, besides all that “gangster friends” business perpetuating the African American stereotype, I really think that Derek Reynolds was a great fictional boyfriend to have, even though I can’t remember ever wanting him. Why was he so great? Well, he was pretty smart for one thing, getting into a good college, and taught a stiff ballerina how to be somewhat hip-hop (though how “street” can Julia Stiles really be? Not all that impressive but that’s not what we are talking about). Also, he never let those issues others had about interracial couples get to him, even when they got to his lady-love. Plus he got out of the gang and was big support to Sara’s shaking dancing dreams. All in all, Derek was really nice guy, and had a good head on his shoulders next to some less-than amiable others.

Character Grade: 9/10

It appears that like the 1990s, the 2000s also had some ups and downs. After the whole things, however, and considering all the character flaws, despite the fact that some other guys from each decade might have a better "grade" overall, I still can't help but fall for a couple certain fellows. That being said, my one true "boyfriend" from each decade are as follows:

1980s: Jake Ryan, 1990s: Preston Myers, 2000s: Cliff Pantone

And since that is that for this adventure in examination, what do you think? Was I too hard on anyone, or too easy on someone else? Was there one specific decade of teenage hunk that you liked more than the others? How about anyone that I missed in my assessments?

Saturday, August 27, 2011

[1990s Edition] Was my Old-School, Fictional Boyfriend Actually All that Great?

*** This is just for a bit of fun, and biased to my own likings, so take it all with a grain of salt. Also, stay tuned for the final installment featuring boys from the Early 2000s (as long as the film was made at least 10 years ago, to go along with the "nostalgic" feel).

To go along with my assessment of some typical heartthrobs from the 1980s, here is the next installment of my nostalgic look back on the boys that we loved. So please, Take a Look at the First Introduction to the subject, to see what it's all about.

I mentioned above, this inconsequential examination is a bit biased to my own personal likings, and only includes those characters from films that I actually have seen, as I wouldn't want to have to base anything on just reading other's opinions on the subject.

Alas, without further ado: A Character Assessment of our Old-School Fictional Boyfriends. Were they Really as Great as We Remember? [1990s Edition]

Jordan Catalano (Jared Leto): "My So-Called Life" (1994)

Is it just me, or is there something inherently smarmy about Jared Leto? And this thus rubs off onto the character of Jordan Catalano. Sometimes, you can get past the actor paying the part, but for this one I just can’t. I mean, I understand that sometimes the “bad-boys” with jerky attitudes can be kind of attractive, but this guy was a serious douche. He wouldn’t even acknowledge Angela’s presence in the halls sometimes, he wrote a song about his car instead of his girlfriend, and he couldn’t read. Are we supposed to feel bad about that? Seriously, just try. I don’t want to be insensitive, but I find illiteracy a real turn-off, and just never liked the character of Jordan. I know why Angela liked him, but he never won me over. No Sir, I wasn’t buying what he was selling. Plus he would have sex with your best friend given the chance, which is totally uncouth.

Character Grade: 2/10 (Just because I can understand why someone might fall for him).

Preston Myers (Ethan Embry): Can't Hardly Wait (1998)

Oh Preston, you certainly won me over, and I would have loved to have been your big-haired Amanda Beckett. Was it those puppy-dog eyes and hilarious expressions on his face? Maybe. Or maybe it was that he held onto his feelings for years, which many can understand, but never once tried to break up the relationship she already had. In lots of those romantic movies, the “other guy” will move in and get close to the engaged girl, or girl in a relationship, and thus change her affections, but Preston kept his distance, which is the right thing to do (or so I think). He also kept a purely platonic, goofy relationship with his best lady-friend, and lots of people seemed to know who he was and like him too. More than anything, he didn’t change his future plans for a girl he had just confessed his love to, and didn’t expect her to follow him wherever he went either, but gave their relationship a shot and did the long-distance thing successfully. And that, my friends, is more realistic than most other rom-com relationships. Though Preston does get a character point deducted for making the Angel-Stripper feel bad. Other than that, Prestoooon, was a great fictional boyfriend.

Character Grade: 9/10

Sebastian Valmont (Ryan Phillippe): Cruel Intentions (1999)

No. No no no no no, more No than you can irrigate a canola field with. I just do not and will not ever accent Sebastian Valmont as a heartthrob. Wiki calls him a “Villain turned Anti-Hero” or something along those lines, which I guess I can see since later he actually falls in love and wants to stop the silly games and even reveals his journal and past doings to Annette, but still. Maybe if he didn’t constantly look like he was sizing you up for a coat made out of human skin. Maybe if he didn’t bang anything in sight, was totally manipulative, and made a bet so he could win sex with his stepsister, even though she obviously wanted him in the first place. It went on too long, and even with those slight character changes near the end, I can’t help but think that this guy was a huge, huge douche. (Plus, just like Jared Leto there is something just inherently greasy about Ryan Phillippe, or so I personally think anyways.)

Character Grade: 1/10

Zach Siler (Freddie Prinze Jr.): She's All That (1999)

Hello Zach, football star, thinks he can have whatever and whoever he wants with that big big ego of his. Oh yes, that is why you started dating cute Laney in the first place, because of a bet wasn’t it? Well now that just won’t do, especially since she wasn’t even that unattractive in the first place! You really fell for her once she got all prettied up, didn’t you, my shallow boy? Well okay, it was a little before that that you started warming up to her, during that weird performance art thing. And even if the relationship started under some less-than noble circumstances, once it really came down to it, he put in the effort to keep her and help her out, and even defended her weird little brother. I guess when it came down to it, Zach was kind of a sweet guy (I mean he did take his cute little sister to prom with him), he just needed to be pushed in that direction out of his egotistic beginnings, which left him with a little scarring in the character assessment department.

Character Grade: 7/10

Patrick Verona (Heath Ledger): 10 Things I Hate About You (1999)

It almost feels wrong, considering the character of a person played by Heath Ledger, but alas, he was quite the hunk in my time. This is kind of similar to the Zach Siler thing, as initially his intentions of just dating the girl for money was kind of on the douchey side, but then later he realized real feelings for her. That hunky brooding thing at the beginning was a bit odd, seeing as nobody wanted to talk to him, but he really was suited to Kat, and when he made her mad, he went to some pretty adorable lengths to win her back (remember the singing? Lovely). I really don’t know why she flipped when he wouldn’t kiss her after she vomited all over the place. Would you? I didn’t think so. But he did have some moments of flipping too, which were kind of out of place. We’re just going to forget that in the original Taming of the Shrew story by William Shakespeare that this character starved the Kat character until she broke… No, Heath would never do that. I think he was a pretty good guy in the end, it was just the being paid to date her situation that kind of made him seem like a bit of a skeeze at the beginning.

Character Grade: 7/10

Cameron James (Joseph Gordon-Levitt): 10 Things I Hate About You (1999)

If the burly Patrick Verona’s aren’t your type (what kind of sick person says Heath Ledger isn’t their type?) or if you are like me and have a soft spot for the beta-males, you may have found yourself fancying Cameron in this film. And why not? He was cute, and really like a girl enough to try and make her sister happy, even when he may not in fact end up with the girl. He maybe overreacted a little when Bianca went out with Joey, I mean he got Joey to pay Patrick in the first place since he knew that he wanted her and she kind of wanted him and all that nonsense. My my, Cameron, weaving a very complicated web, aren’t we? That’s always trouble, but you definitely came through throughout the entire thing. Plus, I liked the honesty with Bianca, telling her things that she really needed to hear, even if nobody else was going to say it to her. But maybe that’s just the fact that it’s Joseph Gordon-Levitt winning me over.

Character Grade: 8.5/10

Unlike the 1980s, I probably wouldn't hit all of the hunks of the 90s... There were some ups and some definite downs, in my own personal opinion. But of course a few of them I still love, despite some character flaws, as I know everybody has them in some form or another. (As for you, Sebastian and Jordan, Ew ew ew, get away, get away, Get Away!)

But what about what you think? Was I too hard on some and too lenient on some others? Were there any other people you would have considered a heartthrob in the 1990s that didn't quite make my assessment? Do you feel differently any of them now, compared to how you did back then?

Friday, August 26, 2011

Celebri-Dream, "The Doctor and Beast on a Wintry Night of Amnesia"

Quite frequently, I have dreams featuring celebrities or fictional characters, which says a lot about how obsessed with cinema I am. Sometimes I like to share them, so as to have a record of my strange strange thoughts.
Often they don't make sense or connect very well when you try to remember the dream the next day, but apparently whilst actually in "Dream-Land" anything can make sense, right?

"The Doctor and Beast on a Wintry Night of Amnesia"

I recently had a-- once again-- very bizarre dream, involving not only one, but two random people from film and television this time. It all started with me at a graduation ceremony, in the middle of a field, which was centered in the middle of some random big city (I think it was Chicago? Even though I've never been there). Oh, and it was the middle of winter (like an Albertan winter) so it was incredibly snowy, yet I was still wearing my heels in the field of snow. Anyways, it was getting late, so I went to this bus station at the edge of a field, and couldn't figure out which bus to take home, but everyone was pretty much gone and the hoodlums were starting to come out, so I hopped on a bus hoping it was the right one. It wasn't, but I did see the Eleventh Doctor (as played by Matt Smith) on the bus! I recognized him and kept referring to him as "Eleventh Doctor" but he didn't seem to know who he was. I noticed he was missing his Sonic Screwdriver so asked him about it, and he said he must have lost it, which I knew was not a good thing. So by a stroke of luck, the bus brought us right to the house of my friend "Beast". Like literally, I said, "My friend Beast will probably know what to do, he's a genius" and there was his house!

When I say Beast, I mean like, Hank from X-men, but before he turns into Beast (yet I still call him that). Pretty much, it was just Nicholas Hoult, and he said he actually knew The Doctor, and took him inside, since apparently he knew how to help get his memory back. As they were doing this, I went and got changed into some of Beast's clothes (which inexplicably fit, but hey! It's dream-land!) and when I went back to the "lab" to see if Beast was able to bring back The Doctor's memory... Well... Let's just say that things were getting a little homoerotic. As in they knew each other a little better than Beast initially let on. And come on now, I mean I don't want to seem like a creep, but both of those young gents are pretty attractive, so it's not like I was complaining.

Anyways, they noticed me come in and played it off all nonchalant, but they knew that I knew, and I'm pretty sure they were madly in love. It seemed as though The Doctor had his memory back though, so I asked and he said yes, and he had actually had his Sonic Screwdriver stolen from him, and knew how to get to where it was! So we all drove in this tiny car to the middle of some ghost-town, and stopped outside of this tiny shack. The Doctor told me that his Screwdriver was in the house, in a red toolbox in the far left hallway, and both him and Beast urged me to go in, not them. Being my dream-self, of course I went in, and I'm ashamed to say that this is where the story got a little... Racist. Well okay not completely, but a bit racially stereotypical.

You see, I had just watched the episode of Weeds, Season 7 where Heylia storms out of her house with a shotgun all angry like? Well, that pretty much was exactly what happened to me, except for the African American woman wasn't necessarily Heylia. I don't really know. All I remember at this point was I managed to sneak in the house and grab the Screwdriver, but before I got out, this woman started shooting at me with a rifle or whatever you call it, I am ducked down behind a tiny separating wall as shrapnel is flying everywhere. Then the woman's 3 "Gangster" sons come along and start talking smack, and I think I almost made it out of the house when I fell down, and the dream ended. Maybe I was shot, maybe I wasn't. But where were Beast and The Doctor? Cowering in the car or somehow trying to help me out? I can't really be sure.

Once again, very very strange, I know. But for some reason I like to record them and look back on them in later. Maybe it can illuminate something in the future? Probably not, but regardless:
Has anyone else ever had a bizzare dream that they would like to share? I always like hearing them, as like I said, anything can happen in Dream-Land, so it's usually pretty random and interesting!

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

[1980s Edition] Was my Old-School, Fictional Boyfriend Actually All that Great?

** Stay Tuned for an Examination of Other "Teenage Heartthrobs" from the 1990s and Early 2000s later on. This is just for fun, and slightly biased by myself, so heed with a grain of salt, as per usual.

We've all done it. Fall in love with a fictional character, I mean. Especially in our teen years while watching specifically "teen" movies looking at our teenage heartthrobs, specially designed to make us swoon all over the place. But looking back, I start to wonder if these guys were really all they were cracked up to be. Were we just blinded by our young love, watching them as teenagers (or sometimes, in my case, a pre-teen), to not see that some of them were actually kind of douchey, or egotistic, or not even that nice at all?

I've decided, just for fun, to do a character assessment on some of the old "classic" teen movies of the past 30 years or so. I call them "Old-School" because if they aren't more than a decade old, they didn't make the cut (sorry, A Walk To Remember).

For this one we are going to focus on some of the memorable gents from the 1980s. Keep in mind that I will only talk about guys in movies that I have actually seen, as I would like to not just be shooting in the dark or following what everyone else says about the character. That could make it slightly biased, but I think we've come to expect that from web-writing, haven't we?

Please, notice that Michael J. Fox (as pictured above) and all the characters he plays is missing from this list, even though we loved him in a lot of 80s classics. Marty McFly? Total babe. Teen Wolf? Okay, maybe not sensitive to his best lady friend "Boof", but you know what? You will not find me assessing his character ever. Ever! Why? Because you even breathe the word "douche," or "unkind," or "smarmy" in reference to the man. That man is precious, and I love him, and say one bad thing about him, and I will climb in your window. And proceed to snatch your people up.

But now, without further ado or digression: A Character Assessment of our Old-School, Fictional boyfriends. Were They Really as Great as We Remember? [1980s Edition]

Daniel Larusso (Ralph Macchio): The Karate Kid (1984)

Oh, don’t look at me like that. You loved him when you were 13 or whatever. Anyways, let’s look at his character. Alright, so it’s pretty awesome that he basically defeated the nazi-esque karate club, which included that blonde bully, using focus, rather than hurting people, and that bully did take things kind of far, but how did the whole thing start? Daniel sprayed him with water and ruined his skeleton makeup on Halloween! Not cool, dude. Plus all those snippy little rifts with Mr. Miyagi, the man that took him in and wasn’t even related? Tisk tisk. Yet, at the same time, we love this young boy, who certainly had a way with the ladies (and certainly could dance)!

Character Grade: 6/10

Jake Ryan (Michael Schoeffling): Sixteen Candles (1984)

Jaaaaaake! Seriously, what a gorgeous gorgeous hunk he was, I would certainly want him just like Molly Ringwald (who apparently everyone in the 80s wanted). And you know what? The guy was actually pretty sweet. I mean, he didn’t really pay attention to Sam until he found out that she would consider having sex with him, which is a bit skeezy, but after that, the boy really put in the effort which goes a long way! He broke up with his girlfriend right away, sort of befriended the nerd to find out about Sam, then showed up at a low moment for her at her sister’s wedding, and even celebrated her forgotten birthday! Thanks for going the extra mile, Jake. That’s really sweet of you, even if it was spurred on by thoughts of sex.

Character Grade: 8.5/10

John Bender (Judd Nelson): The Breakfast Club (1985)

I chose this photo of him lighting a match with his teeth because it might be one of the sexiest things I’ve ever seen. No seriously, it’s that attitude that made us fall in love with John Bender, and squeal with delight when he triumphantly pumped his fist in the air. But when it comes down to it, the boy has some serious issues, and crossed the line saying some things, though some of it, sure, was honest and they needed to hear it. Furthermore, it’s unclear what will happen next with Claire and John but if they did in fact try to pursue a relationship, all that “I don’t believe in one guy/one girl” thing will probably lead to John cheating eventually, and he will likely never think he lives up to Claire’s expectations and wants in a man, since he never has in his home life, and possibly continue his somewhat violent behavior. So I don’t know, I mean a lot of this we can chock up to a bad home life, which makes him a sympathetic character, but at the same time, he has his moments of being a straight up jerk. Thus, I’m a bit conflicted.

Character Grade: 5.5/10

Andrew Clark (Emilio Estevez): The Breakfast Club (1985)

Andrew is another one of the guys you may have fallen for in this movie, based on the different “types” one might be into. And well, I must admit, he was kind of funny at some points, but for the most part, epitomized the persona of a jock being pushed by his father. It was that pushing that led him to his worst act of taping another kid’s butt-cheeks together and ending up in detention, and you can tell that he is really remorseful about it, which makes it a little sad. At the same time, you have to like how he sort of kept looking at the cute basket case all day, and trying to learn about her, make her feel better about her life, but then he only really shows interest once she all of a sudden is “pretty” and basically just changes who she is outside to look more like someone he would want? Nope, not digging that. And what about their relationship too? I mean she said she would be friends with Brian Johnson as she had no friends, but he likely wouldn’t as it wouldn’t fit with his “group” or whatever, so where does that leave her in the middle? How does he introduce her to his friends anyways? These Breakfast Club boys are kind of a mess, aren’t they? We love them despite ourselves, as we are willing to overlook some of their lesser qualities, it seems.

Character Grade: 5.5/10

Lloyd Dobler (John Cusack) Say Anything (1989)

Oh Lloyd Dobler, the guy every girl wants standing outside of her window with a boom box. He made that move iconic, stricken with parody, and ruined romantic gestures for every man after him. Lloyd was a sweet guy who stuck it out with Diane while her father was going through troubles and all he wanted was to make her happy and give her support. The thing I hear the most, however, is that Diane didn’t deserve him. Well okay, but that’s who he wanted and he sure put in the effort and gestures to get her. The only thing about him is that all of his female friends really seem to mother him, which I don’t always really find that appealing, and you would almost like to think that he would have been more supportive of his friend Corey after she had such a hard time with her breakup with Joe, rather than befriending him, though as far as boyfriends go, Lloyd really was a great catch for Diane, and everyone else in the 80s.

Character Grade: 9/10

Hm, it looks like Mr. Lloyd Dobler is the winner of this round, though Jake Ryan was pretty close behind.

Oh, who am I kidding? Even with some of those character flaws, I'd still probably hit every one of these guys like a brick wall. Though the older I get, the creepier it makes it when I say that...

Do you think I was too easy on some of them? Or too hard on others? Were there any Teenage Heartthrobs that you were madly in love with back in the 80s, that didn't make it onto my list? Do you feel differently about them now, compared to how you did then?

Like I said, this is just for fun, and soon I will be examining some more from the 1990s and Early 2000s, for no reason whatsoever.

Friday, August 19, 2011

Celebri-Dream, "Andrew Garfield and the Carnies"

Quite frequently, I have dreams featuring celebrities or fictional characters, which says a lot about how obsessed with cinema I am. Sometimes I like to share them, so as to have a record of my strange strange thoughts.
Often they don't make sense or connect very well when you try to remember the dream the next day, but apparently whilst actually in "Dream-Land" anything can make sense, right?

"Andrew Garfield and the Carnies"

Last night, I dreamt that the circus came to town, but it was... a bizarre one. I don't really know how to explain it. Well okay, so a lot of the people running it were giant talking cats in suits.

Anyways, I was walking through all the tents and such, and stumbled upon a tent where you could interact with these performers from the night show, who all wore metallic blue, skin-tight body suits with glitter all over them. As I was walking past, I noticed that one of the men was Andrew Garfield, and just had to go talk to him (I'm not stupid, after all). So basically it was the usual, "Oh hey, great show, can I take a photo with you?" But in the photo it turned into an awkward hug kind of situation where I wouldn't let go of him. He seemed to be really creeped out so I left, but as I was leaving I found a pair of shoes and socks on the ground. A lot of tents were closing up as it was nighttime, so I decided to bring them to lost and found the next day.

The next day, I was working at a pharmacy (which I really don't work at) with my friend Brittany, and Andrew Garfield comes in. And basically, I'm super shocked, star-stuck, and oh-so enamored by him that I make this face:

He looks at me all sad looking, then goes up to my friend Brittany, gets a prescription, and whispers something to her, while I stand there unable to move.
Brittany tells me once he leaves, that he said, "You're friend is exactly like my fiance, and I'm really sorry that I can't make both of them happy."
And I was like, "Uuuh... But I just met him? Why would he care?" and then proceeded to burst into tears.

Anyways, I had to return the shoes and socks, and on them, it had a tag that said, "Return to the Blue performance tent" so I was like, "Oh great, now I have to see him again and it will be awkward". But I went anyways, and found the tent, which was apparently two stories high, and as I came to the top of the steps, I saw this girl with red hair, and immediately I knew that that was his fiance. And thus, I tripped on the top step, so everyone stared at me. I went up to her, as she was at some sort of "Front Desk" thing in the tent and gave her the shoes and socks, and the girl was like, "Oh so you're the one who is having an affair with my fiance!" And I immediately said, "No no, why would you say that?"
And she said, "Well you were talking to him the other day, and now have his shoes and socks!"
And I was like, "But I just met him and talked to him for five seconds! And found his socks on the ground, that's why I'm returning them!"
So his fiance burst into tears, and I did the same, and then said I had to go, but not before she slipped in, "How could you be so awful?"
And I was thinking, "But I didn't do anything, except maybe give him an awkward hug!" (which I would totally do if I ever actually met him, but still).

It was like a Rom-Com without the "Com" part! Maybe it was because I just watched that "Romantic" movie with little to no comedy featuring Tom Sturridge and Rachel Bilson the other day... Waiting for Forever, it was called? Anyways, that is besides the point.

And so, I left all upset, and wandered through the dark Carnie town, and before it all ended, I walked past what I thought was a guy dressed up as The Joker, who proceeded to slap my bum when I went past, and as soon as he did it, I knew he was the actual Joker (like, Heath Ledger style), and freaked out, thinking he was going to blow up the circus, then woke up with a start.

Le weird, right? I don't know why I always want to record these things, maybe it will illuminate something in the future. Have you ever had a bizarre dream you want to share? I always like to hear them, and I don't know why...

Thursday, August 11, 2011

A Gratuitous (Pictorial) Display of The Prettiest Lips I Ever Dun' Seen

For the most part, this is just a random list of photos, much like when I celebrated my favorite Hollywood Eyes, or Cheekbones and Jawlines.
So this time I decided to move onto another facial feature for Gratuitous Display... And that is, lovely, kissable lips!

Now, I must admit, I'm not really the kind of girl who will stare at people's mouths. I actually find it kind of weird, but every now and again, you just notice those really really nice lips on people, and sometimes wonder what they might feel like if you were to get to know this person and... Okay okay, you get the point.

I must say, however, that I love smiles, though that can get all mixed up in the whole braces/non-braces, cute snaggle-tooth, not-cute snaggle mess of subjectivity. As can all kinds of beauty (that's a post for another time, maybe...), which makes these gratuitous lists of mine completely personal in the choices of people. I mean, you may be wondering why I don't put the predictable/obvious choice of Angelina Jolie on here? Well, because although her lips are big and many women envy them, I don't find them all that attractive. But that's just me, like I said!
But now I'm getting into a big old rant about the subjectivity of beauty, which I should cut short right now...

For now, let us bask in the beauty of some nice lips, whether they be pillowy, soft, big, pouty, or anything of the sort! And thus, I hereby give you, A Gratuitous, Pictorial Display of the Prettiest Lips I Ever Did See (and/or Want to Sink My Teeth Into).

Gemma Arterton
Known to me under the name of "That pretty girl from The Prince of Persia who I sometimes mix up with that other pretty girl from Cemetery Junction", which leaves everyone wondering who in the world I am talking about! (For the record, the other pretty girl is Felicity Jones). And my my, Gemma, don't we just have the most British of names to go along with those lovely lady lips and flawless skin! I hope to see her in some more diverse roles in the future, but for now, I will just have to make do with staring in envy at those gorgeous features of hers.

Michael Buble
I'm just going to get it right out there and say that at this exact moment I am on a Michael Buble "high". Ever since I went to his concert in Edmonton 3 days ago and just fell in love. "What is it about this man that makes him so sexy?" I thought? Maybe it's the voice, the swag, the suits, the giggly personality... but feature-wise? The lips. Maybe they aren't the biggest, but they sure look soft enough to sink your teeth into, no? But don't let me talk you into it, let him do the convincing!

Penelope Cruz
I'm pretty sure I have an intense lady-crush on this woman. I mean, look at her! She is so gorgeously Spanish and talented, and unlike most other celebrities, named her child something pretty normal (Leo, or so the rumor is). Just look at those lips... If she and her stunning husband Javier Bardem ever invited me over for a party, I would say "Yes" in a heartbeat!

Andrew Garfield
Hands up, who saw this one coming? Yes, I will admit that I'm absolutely enamored by this young gentleman. Everything about him, and like some of the others, his lips may not be the biggest or smoothest or anything of the sort, but they sure do look pouty and irresistible if I say so myself. Oh, and if you haven't seen Boy A yet, Do Yourself a Favor... (and don't forget to check out those pretty soft lips of his while you're at it!)

Tom Hardy
Inspiration for this list? Maybe so. But look at how pillowy! I know, I know, many people are still unaware of who Tom Hardy is, but there was a reason they called him "Handsome Bob" in RockNRolla, you know? I think it was all the "Darling" talk in Inception though, that really won me over... But we're getting off track now. Seriously, I could take nap on those fluffy beauties. And I'm sure you all understand why I call him PillowLips Hardy now, right?

David Kross
At this moment, my family is thinking I have a serious problem when it comes to the boy from The Reader. And you know what? I do. Because it was a beautiful movie and he did a great job. And no, my dear sister and mother, it was not for the full-frontal of the young gent. Actually he looks like somewhat of a doppelganger to me... But more importantly to what we are discussing, just like Andrew Garfield he has those pouty lips. Lucky Kate Winslet, getting to see for herself how soft they are, again and again! Though on the other hand, maybe he is the lucky one in this situation, I mean hers aren't so bad either...

Chord Overstreet
I don't think any list like this nowadays would be complete without "Trouty Mouth" himself. I mean just look at them! Gorgeous and full. Though let me just mention the whole "Chord Overstreet doesn't want to come back to 'Glee'" thing. I honestly don't blame him, I mean as much as I wanted to see where the Sam/Mercedes relationship would have gone (as it was pretty cute), they really weren't utilizing him at all in the last half of the second season, were they? He was just kind of there, and every now and again they would make a joke about his big mouth. His gorgeous big mouth, they should say! I mean, if he wants to work on his musical career rather than just being known as "that kid from Glee" for forever, then good on him! He's a talented singer and musician, and I think given the right circumstances could do very well.

Luke Pasqualino
Didn't Naomi refer to Freddie by saying "You love the lips!" at one point in the third season of 'Skins'? Am I just imagining this? Well anyways, in a show with so much teenage sex and love, especially featuring someone with such big fluffy lips, one can't help but wonder what they might feel like pressed against your own, am I right? Wait, and then he was on 'The Borgias' for a while? Hm, I guess more people have experienced them than you might imagine with such an obscure name in the grandiose Hollywood spectrum.

Chris Pine
They're like, flat but... big, am I right? Okay, no seriously, am I the only one that finds Chris Pine attractive? Because I really do. And I love the voice that comes out of him too, because for some reason, it doesn't match the typical "hollywood action star" voice, yet I love it because he sounds so smart! (Wow, that was a lot of "because"). Anywho, I never really realized how nice his mouth region actually is until recently and I must say... I am intrigued. Oh, go ahead and judge, but remember that you are gandering on this site too, so I'm not entirely to blame here.

Emma Stone
Emma Stone seems to be everyone's lady-love at this moment in time. Men, women, whoever! Everyone loves this girl (seriously tell me of someone who doesn't and I'll show you a liar), but why not? She is beautiful, and sassy, and funny and all that... And although she has some thinner lips, well hey, they look smooth or whatever, don't they? And that's one of those other things about her that is so endearing: she doesn't have the typical, gorgeous features of the classic leading-lady (ie, collagen injected lips) or model bombshell, yet she is absolutely stunning all the time.

And there you have it! My list of some of the prettiest lips I have seen as of late (or the ones I'm most curious to inspect, more like), even though as I said before, I'm not really a fan of looking at people's mouths, I'm more of an eye and cheekbone lady (and smiles, of course!).
But now I leave it to you. Is there anyone else that you personally might have chosen for this gratuitous display instead?

Saturday, August 6, 2011

"The Buffer" and Other Notes on Cinema Etiquette

***These are not real. It's just what I myself (and my friends and family) go by.

For any social situation involving other people there are always those unspoken "rules" or personal etiquette guidelines we should follow, out of respect for everyone else around us.
This includes how we behave when we go through the community experience of seeing a film in a public theatre.

I've never really had a problem with other people while watching a movie, because I'm pretty easy-going when it comes to that stuff, but the other day, I had a... let's say "confused" moment when someone broke the one rule my sister and I always go by. And that rule is known as "The Buffer".

*Ahem*
The Buffer:
A two seat gap (one if fine, two is better) you leave empty between you/your viewing party and another person/their viewing party when there are other ample seats to be filled around you and throughout the theatre.

You know what I mean? I was going to see Friends with Benefits with my sister and her friend, and the theatre was almost empty, --just a couple of small groups-- and this one couple decided to plop down right next to me right off the bat, even though there were countless seats not even near me!

Okay okay, so it's not that big of a deal and I don't mind sitting next to other people. In fact, it happens a lot, I was just so confused as to why out of all the seats, the one directly beside me looked the most appealing? Especially since the two people seemed incredibly confused by some of my laughing moments that they "didn't get" and other reactions while watching it. To which I thought, "Hey, you chose to sit next to me, remember?"

To be honest, the breach of The Buffer isn't that bad. It's just kind of strange when a completely random person really wants to sit beside you when the rest of the theatre is empty.

The thing with The Buffer, too, is that sometimes, a theatre gets full. Well okay, so if a theatre is fuller, you can sit right next to someone. That is perfectly fine. If you leave a buffer and the theatre starts to fill up, go ahead and scooch over to make room, but just leave that buffer there initially out of courtesy. And for goodness sake, when you make a buffer, always leave at least 2 spaces. Why? Because then, if the theatre fills and couple comes looking for seats, well they will fit very nicely in between you and not have to make others scooch or split up or anything. I mean, I know sometimes people go to movies alone, but it's usually a group thing.

And that, my friends, is what the usage of The Buffer is all about.

Here are a couple of other "Notes on Cinema Etiquette" as defined by myself and my sister.
(And you better listen to us, because we are well-seasoned film viewers, at both cineplexes, and smaller theaters).

Previews:

- I firmly believe that in those silent couple of seconds after a preview ends, you are allowed to say one quick line regarding whatever you feel about that you just saw. For example, "No. No no. Hell no. Not today." Or "I think Adrian Brody is way better than this." Or "I think I've seen this movie before... Just... A different Holiday." (*Cough* New Year's Eve* Cough*)

Verbal Reactions to Film:

Seeing a movie at a theatre in public turns it into a community experience. I don't see why we can't have certain reactions to things we see on screen. I mean, we go to a scary movie to be scared with others, or see something funny to laugh along with the group when it's in theaters, right? Not to just stifle ourselves like we might at home. Anyways...

- Laughing when you aren't necessarily supposed to because you find something humorous unintentionally is totally fine. Sure, people might stare or be confused, but it makes for a great time! Just hold off if it's like a really really serious thing you are laughing at, like a kid's father dying or cancer or genocide, or anything like that. Seriously, what kind of a sick person are you?

- The occasional "What?!" or gasp, or other exclamation is fine. Actually it's kind of funny when people do that. Though I have to be honest and say it's usually me who is the culprit.

- Incessant talking is just a no-brainer. Don't do it. However, the odd, strategically placed line about the actors, plot, action is okay. See, this way it's not constant talking, though you are able to get the most important questions out there or things said before you forget about them. Just be careful dow much you do it, since I always abuse this one.

- Crying is one of those things that sometimes happens during a movie, and it can't really be helped. When a young child cries, I let it slide, because they don't know any better, but for adults, crying makes people uncomfortable. But like, I said, sometimes it can't be helped! For crying, I say it's okay to do so in a theater, but only if you are very very quit about it. Don't go sobbing away or loudly sniveling, bothering everyone else around you. Let those tears run down your face and quietly wipe them away with a kleenex, or press your thumbs to your tear ducts to hold it, or blink back the welling in your eyes, I really don't care! Just don't make any noise. That way, only the people you came with are likely to notice your tears, and they shouldn't be too weirded out by it, right?

Food:

- If you smuggle in a soda can (come on, everyone does it) or buy a soda in a bottle, open it up before the film starts or during previews. Everyone hates a random can crack in the middle.

- Skittles and other candies roll. Just be careful, and catch them in your crotch if you can.

- Garbage goes in the cup-holders or under your seat, on in front. Nobody wants to step in that.

- Don't get mad at the person that is sliding past you to work their way to the washroom. They are just as uncomfortable as you are, and really don't want to be bothering you, but they have to. As a person who holds it every time, that can get painful if you have a tiny bladder.

Phones:

- It's kind of a given to put your phone on silent,and not talk on it. Seriously, this isn't a phone booth. However, I have a little thing about texting. If you are in the back 2 rows or so, you can have a freebie of 2 texts during the film. Why only the back rows? Because little to nobody can see your phone's light back there, whereas in the front, you see something shining and your eye is directly drawn to it, like a crow and a shiny thing. Just don't, if you are closer than the back 3 rows.

I feel like there was more but that also seems like a lot for now.
With that, I give you my random notes on Cinema Etiquette! What do you think on the subject? Anything that really annoys you in a movie or you would add to the list?

P.S: Please note my choice of photos giving props to the Edmonton Princess Theatre and (sadly, just closed) Garneau Theatre. I hear it's turning into Metro city now though? I'm not sure...