Celebrity gossip fills the air, everyone being scrutinized
by a gigantic microscope.
Books, films, and television shows featuring bumpy
relationships are consumed and discussed at length.
Politicians present their stands on world issues and
controversial topics.
And what have I learned? That no matter if it’s in a
fictional world, or the real one, it is usually the woman who is blamed of all
faults. It truly is a man’s world indeed.
Oh, I know, sexism has been apparent in almost all the
societies of the world for as long as we can remember or trace. It’s not
exactly a new topic. I’m also not one for discussing feminism at length, as
today that term has developed some nasty, demeaning connotations. Why is
supporting women’s rights seen as a negative thing? In the words of my High
School English teacher, “We’re not saying you should burn your bra and cut off all your hair.” But it’s time to recognize in ourselves that even though we
claim to be a more equalized society of peoples with common rights for all,
sexism is still inherent in our mindsets.
And it’s not just males who act like this: Women hate other
women. We are catty and rude, and despite wanting to be strong, independent
women, (almost) everyone has their weak moments of swooning over a guy and
wanting their attention. Right? No? Maybe? I don’t know, it just kind of seems
that way to me sometimes.
To illustrate what I mean, I’ve come up with some trivial,
fictional examples as to how people (the ones that I know, at least) often make
villains out of the women in movies and stories rather than the men. It’s the
woman’s fault, not the charming leading man’s! Of course this isn’t always
true, but these are just some instances that stuck out to me.
*** (Spoiler alert for all! Just, be on guard. Especially
when discussing "American Horror Story".)
1) “In (500) Days of Summer, Summer Finn is the sole person
to blame for Tom’s pain and is an evil young woman.”
Well, no. Not entirely. I think a lot of my female friends
and neighbors jumped to calling Summer mean names and blaming her because they
were so fastly infatuated with Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s Tom. It’s true, he is
very cute, but just like his younger sister states, he was only looking at the
good parts of the relationship. He had his blinders on to Summer’s flaws from
the beginning, not wanting to see the weaknesses in his relationship with her.
Okay, so she gave off some mixed signals at some points, but she did also says
from the beginning she didn’t want a serious relationship, yet he still put her
on a pedestal and was almost creepily obsessed with their “true love” based on
some similar, alternative interests. I don’t know, I mean I think Tom himself
was as much to blame for their breakup and should have maybe kept his eyes open to what was
really going on, rather than thinking himself just a victim of a girl’s passing
whim.
2) “George Clooney’s character in Up in the Air is only
unhappy because of what Vera Farmiga’s character did to him.”
It’s hard to pin it all on her. She just brought him to the
realization that he was not entirely happy with the life that he had created
for himself, being a perpetually travelling bachelor. I can admit that Vera
Farmiga’s character (once again) gave him some mixed signals as to where their relationship
was going, showing up to his sister’s wedding and all, but at the same time,
it’s true, they did sort of just act as passing fancies to one another. His
sister’s wedding acted in itself as a eye-opener to the nature of his life, as
well as the beliefs of Anna Kendrick showing him what he might be missing. So no, it wasn’t all the actions
of one adulterous woman that ruined his life. He did it all on his own, and
through a series of events, became aware of how unhappy he really was.
3) “In Shame, Brandon’s sister, Sissy, is a
whore for sleeping with a married man, while what he does is understandable
because he has a legitimate disease.”
While I understand that the film in itself is trying to show
the hardships of people with sexual addiction as a real mental issue, it comes across as slightly misogynistic. At least, the reactions
you get in regards to Sissy do. She knows that she has made mistakes and didn’t
per say know that Brandon’s coworker was married, yet is painted as being an
erratic harlot. Brandon, on the other hand, is made into a sad, sympathized
man, despite his many sexual conquests. This double standard as to the sexual
activities of men and women can further be seen in the silly, inconsequential
movie What’s Your Number? The lead woman is called a slut for having sex with 20 different men in her life, while other men in the movie also have many sexual partners, even
more so than her, and it is seen as much more acceptable because it’s just “male
nature”.
4) “The Manic Pixie Dream-Girl is real and incredibly annoying,
and the root of all the problems of the indie-movie male.”
You know that a man made up this “perfect” and “kooky” trope
of woman for movies and tv, and even the Mary-Sues of literature right? Their
“perfect” woman that is now scorned by many for being oh-so-irritating? It was
to please a certain kind of man, looking for a certain, unrealistic kind of
girl. They put these women on a pedestal and don't want to see their faults. When they have these faults to make them a more realistic character, the men are disappointed, yet if they don't have them, they are an irritating caricature.
5) “It’s all crazy Constance’s fault. Especially Tate; she
messed him up as a child.”
In "American Horror Story", unspeakable horrors happened in
the “murder house” before the Langdons ever moved there. It wasn’t all Constance's fault! Sure, we can blame the fact that Larry’s wife kills herself and her
children on the fact that Larry was in love with Constance, but did she really
ask for that to happen? Was it all bad genes and mothering that led to her
having one child with a physical malformation, one with Down's syndrome,
and one who was a complete psychopath? A man has to be present to conceive and
raise children too, you know. And maybe no matter what kind of mother Constance
was, Tate would still have turned out to be an absolutely terrifying, psychotic member of society. She
may have her flaws, and be kind of a crazy old lady, but I hardly believe
everything that happened to the Harmons (not to mention all the others) was her fault. You know the
house had other evil forces working in it long before she arrived.
6) "How could Rose let go of Jack? He totally could have fit on that
floating door with her!"
What? You don’t think they tried that? You think Jack didn’t
want to sacrifice himself for her to have a good life? You don’t think it was
fair that she let go of the dead corpse of the man she loved? He was already
dead! Silly young girls always get mad about the fact that in Titanic, Rose
says she won’t ever let go of Jack, but let’s be realistic, you guys. Maybe that was a metaphorical "letting go", you know? I know
you get all emotional in love stories and everything, but take off the crazy
blinders for a second.
Alright, so many of those aren’t exactly that substantial
and are actually quite trivial. However, even in real life events, women often
come out as the ones to blame, or the ones that get the worst reputation at the
end of everything. Don’t know what I mean? Here are some examples of true
events (yes, many of them Hollywood-based), and maybe you’ll see what I’m getting
at:

1) Recently, it was discovered that Kristen Stewart cheated on Robert Pattinson with a
married man, and she is the one getting all the flak from it. She has decided
not to show up to her own premiers because of harassment, and has been dropped
from the Snow White and the Huntsman sequel. The married man she engaged with-- who is incidentally the director of Snow White and the Huntsman-- however? He is just fine
and still gets to keep his directing job for the sequel. While Kristen Stewart
went from 0 to whore in one second flat in the eyes of all her Twi-hard fans,
this adulterous male is now getting more recognition and jobs in the business,
despite only having one movie on his CV previously. How is it that this young
girl of only 22, who made a stupid mistake is coming out as the worst creature on
earth? When Tiger Woods cheated on his wife, he was dropped from hardly any
sponsors. When Arnold Schwarzenegger came out as having an illegitimate child
with his maid, did anyone decide to stop putting him in action movies, or even
stop seeing them? No. Because they are men, and they always come out okay in
these situations.
2) When Brad Pitt divorced Jennifer Anniston and went to be
with Angelina Jolie, Angelina Jolie was painted as a homewrecker and tormenter
for years in all the tabloid magazines. Jennifer Anniston, in turn, was shown
as clingy, desperate, and constantly wanting Brad Pitt to come back to her.
Brad Pitt on the other hand? He’s fine. He’s cool. Men still want to be him and
women still want to be with him. You know, there are always two participants in
relationships, not just one, so I don’t know why the women are always the ones
whose faults are being exaggerated and focused on.
3) Ever hear that women that dress a certain way are “asking
for it”? I have, and it’s not only disgusting, but also infuriating. It’s also a
not an uncommon belief of mysoginistic men, and that is absolutely terrifying.
What I mean is, that some men believe that when women dress up in tight clothes
or short skirts, they are just asking for sex, and so it is okay to have sex
with them, even when they say no. This has led to the modern day “Slut Walks”
in many cities throughout the world, trying to refute this fact. Rape is rape,
and the way a woman dresses should not change the way people feel about her in
these circumstances. Sometimes girls just want to go out in a new outfit and
have fun. They do not dress that way for forcible, unwanted male attention, and
should not be blamed for being a “cock tease” or anything like that when these
horrible acts happen upon them.

4) And this finally leads me to the idea that has recently
been presented by American politician Todd Akins. I’m sure you’ve heard of his
ridiculous claims of “Legitimate Rape”? This man, who wants to be a ruling
member of the United States seems to believe that women have the ability to
shut down the act of sex when they don’t want it to occur. So all those women
who are raped? They subconsciously want it to happen, otherwise it wouldn’t
have happened, even though a strong man was forcing himself upon her. This idea
just enrages me to no end, and I can’t believe men of modern society even think
this way. It’s basically just another way of saying that it is the woman’s
fault that she was raped, since her body “could have stopped it”. Oh you didn’t
want to be impregnated by that man? Well, your subconscious seems to believe
otherwise, and so, we will not help you and will not support a pro-choice
stance on abortion. Ridiculous.
Are you starting to see what I mean? It’s not enough to give
women equal opportunities to vote and for
jobs. We have to treat them equally and think of them as equals in all
senses. How can we stand here and accept that women are often considered the ones
to blame in situations where men are just as responsible, if not more so?
It seems like a societal adversity to femininity in general,
actually. Some people aren’t really that opposed to homosexuality, just when
men start acting more feminine does it make people feel uncomfortable. Of
course, this is not seen in all situations, but look at it this way: If a young
girl was interested in sports and wore baggy boys clothes all the time, people
would just think she was a little Tomboy and it would be no big deal, right? But what if a boy was
interested in playing with dolls and liked to dress up in sparkles or dresses
for fun? That would likely make people uncomfortable and lead to much mockery
towards the child from peers.
I’m not sure if I’m hitting the nail on the head here, but
what is it about femininity and “female” qualities that make people so uncomfortable?
Apparently, the female hormones that differ those of males make women more
sensitive, causes them to cry more often, and be less stable emotionally: less
strong, less masculine. To men, this is seen as weak, and they don’t want to be
considered womanly because that would be a synonym for weakness. But what about
all those super strong women out there and in the course of history? Have we
learnt nothing over time? Is sexism still present in our “equal opportunity” societies?
Yes, I believe it is. Maybe not as overtly as it was once, maybe more subtly,
but it is still there, and it is still somewhat concerning. And like I said before, it's not just a male problem, but also a female one, as women are inherently competitive with one another, and scorn each other easily (or so I've come to believe). Actually I've heard that males are more tolerant of their same-sex peers than females are. I'm not sure if this is a legitimate fact or study, but it makes sense to me in a way.
But what do you think of all this? Maybe I trivialized the
issue, or maybe I’m just being a bleeding-heart once again. I don’t know, but I’m
open to discussion.
*** Update: My current English professor linked the class to this interesting article on Huffington Post which discusses the issue of young women and the media in regards to Kristen Stewart's scandal and the subsequent "slut shaming" she has received. It's definitely worth the time if you are peaked to peruse further reading on the subject.